If you are reading this chances are you read last week's post and are hoping to change your BS (belief system) because you know deep down it is limiting you from living your healthiest and most fulfilling life possible. You are ready to do what it takes to move forward and finally get out of your own way.
Scared? Changing your BS can be HARD! Be patient with yourself and realize that adopting a new perspective and belief is not an overnight shift. It is a difficult process for almost everyone because the current faulty BS playing over and over in your head serves a valuable (but harmful) purpose in your current life. We hold onto a BS because it works for us. It protects us and keeps us safe. It keeps us in our comfort zone. Well, I have news for you- the worst place you can possibly be if you want to improve your life in any way, shape or form is in your comfort zone. Great things never happened in anyone’s comfort zone and if you are hoping to change your life and become the healthiest version of you, you are going to have to leave that comfort zone in the dust. It will only serve to hold you back and keep you stuck.
Before I move forward, I must first give credit to Mastin Kipp at the Daily Love. It was because of him and his amazing program called “Follow Your Bliss” that I decided to step out of my comfort zone, take action and change my destructive beliefs. So a huge thank you to him and his amazing site at www.thedailylove.com
First you need to understand your current destructive belief. Ask yourself the following 3 questions:
1. What ismy faulty/destructive belief?
2. What evidence do I have to validate this belief?
3. What else might this evidence mean other than the meaning I have already given it?
Disclaimer: I have answered these questions with my own faulty belief to give you an example but please realize if you are to change your BS you have to do your own work!
1. What was my old belief?
My old belief was that if I did not look a certain way or was not a certain size I would not be believable, knowledgeable or trust worthy as a fitness instructor and personal trainer. I feared that clients would think I had no idea what I was talking about and would not trust my guidance or advice.
2. What evidence do I have to validate this belief?
Kind of a “duh” answer to this one! Take a look at any fitness magazine out there and you have your answer. But besides the mass media’s warped influence on my beliefs, the side comments from clients, friends and colleges’ regarding a personal trainer’s size and weight always seemed to pop up everywhere. For example, when I was working out with a friend at a gym and she spotted a trainer that didn’t fit the traditional personal trainer physic she scoffed and said things like, “I can’t believe he could help someone lose weight. Look at how big and unhealthy he is himself!” I have also had clients tell me that they wanted to look like me when I was underweight and unhealthy. Yes- people would say these things knowing very well of my past. So needless to say, the evidence for my belief is EVERYWHERE.
3. What else might this evidence mean?
This is where it gets hard and requires some real soul searching. I had to dig deep and look at how I was interpreting comments like the one above made by my friend. I was internalizing these types of comments to be about me, when in reality it was really more about her. My friend’s critical remarks about the trainer’s appearance reflected her own insecurities. Do you pick apart other people’s appearance, behaviors, actions, ect? If so, you are probably super critical and hard on yourself as well. I little secret I learned in treatment when I wanted to stop comparing myself to others and stop being so critical of myself was that I had to stop being so critical of others. (yes- it is that simple. And it works!) So it is possible that the remarks I heard regarding a trainer’s weight and appearance from my clients, friends, family and colleagues didn’t mean that they couldn’t trust or wouldn’t work with a heavier trainer. It is possible that those comments were a reflection of their own insecurities on their own appearance and weight. And in regards to all the fitness magazine covers with perfectly chiseled and sculpted bodies I say follow the money. It always comes down to the money. We are a visual society and if a magazine, clothing line, ect wants to be profitable they must sell an image.
Next, you must cultivate your NEW belief. It is impossible to rid yourself of a destructive belief if you do not have a new one to put in it’s place. Answer these next 2 questions:
1. What is your new belief?
2. What evidence do you have for this new belief?
1. What is my new belief?
I believe that in order to be a successful personal trainer and Pilates instructor I need to provide my clients with 5-star service. I need to listen more than I speak, have compassion and empathy for their struggles, hold them accountable by keeping in constant contact with them, coach them through road blocks and cheer them on when milestones and victories are reached. All of these things are independent of my size, weight and appearance and all of these are what make up a great personal trainer. If I am not taking care of myself and am distracted by pushing myself to unhealthy extremes in attempts to attain a physic deemed “in-shape” by society I will not have energy to take care of and service my clients. Weight and appearance are just one factor in health; they do not define it and they do not embody it. Clients want to work with trainers that are personable, motivating, knowledgeable and organized. None of these qualities have anything to do with size or weight.
2. What evidence do I have for this new belief?
I have worked in the fitness industry for over a decade and the most successful and profitable trainers I have known all have 2 things thing in common; they are passionate about helping their clients and students reach their goals and they are NOT the cover models on fitness magazines (well, may be one of them fits that mold). The fact is, people worked with them because they were passionate about their jobs and not because they were swimsuit model material. They had an undeniable enthusiasm and excitement for fitness that transcended their outward appearance and physic.
So there you have it! Simple questions that pack a big punch! If you have gotten this far in this post, I thank you for sticking with me. I know it was a long one. Now the work begins. You have the knowledge and now you must take action! Actions begin as thoughts. Once you change your BS your thoughts will change. Once your thoughts change your actions will change and so will your life!