Confessions of a Personal Trainer - I've gained 10 pounds
April 23, 2014
Changing Your BS
Are you your own worst enemy when it comes to living a healthy life? I am going to share something I really don’t like to talk about. If you know me, you know that I don’t believe the scale has any real purpose in life. But with that said, I have to say that I’ve gained 10 pounds. Well…. I think I have. Since I don’t weigh myself I really have no idea, but I do know that my pre-pregnancy clothes fit again and that my dietician is breathing a sigh of relief. These are two pretty good indicators my weight is back up. It had dropped far too low since the birth of my son as a result of breastfeeding and immense stress.
No- I am not kidding you, 10 pounds. And in this moment, it feels good. I feel back to normal. I no longer feel weak or frail. I feel strong again and I love it. I can feel my body thriving again even when moments of negative body image are thrown my way. And this newfound strength is not only physical, it’s also mental.
After the birth of my son my positive body image and confidence abandoned me. The insecurities and unpredictability of being a new mom and getting laid of from a job I loved were more than I could handle. My inner strength really didn’t stand a chance. My weight dropped and my health plummeted. Sometimes no matter how strong you think you are or how resilient you have been in the past makes no difference; Life happens in all it’s unpredictable glory.
My self-perception and body image was like a sand castle built too close to shore. I had buit it and molded it to stand beautiful and strong but inevitably a wave too big and too strong came along and washed it away. This past year my body image was hit with a crazy intense wave and it almost destroyed everthing I had spent years building up. So this time after months of rebuilding my sand castle over and over in the same location without success I decided it was time to try something new. I changed my approach and ultimately saved myself total health destruction. I relocated my sand castle. Yep, I finally decided it was moving day. I changed my BS (belief system).
Ever hear the phrase “get out of your own way”? For most of us (myself included) we are our own worst enemies. What we believe about ourselves and what we think others perceive about us undermine any progress we make toward having a healthy and fulfilling life. And even after years of being on recovery and over a decade of therapy, I still struggled with a faulty belief system. I knew my weight had gotten too low but my belief system prevented me from doing the work to get back to a healthy weight. I believed that if I gained the weight, my clients and potential clients would think I was being lazy, I was being a hypocrite, and that they could not trust me to train them (faulty BS). But this BS had some pretty good legs to stand on. I had heard over and over since the beginning of my training career that if I did not “look” like a trainer people would really second-guess working with me or not work with me at all. Potential clients would never approach me because let’s be real, if a trainer couldn’t follow their own advice how effective could he/she be with their clients? I’ve even had clients tell me how they would not have worked with me if I “looked like them”. A pretty toxic and destructive location for my sand castle, don’t you think? But over and over again I would rebuild; hoping that the inevitable waves I saw looming in the distance would not take it down. So how did I change my BS? How did I relocate my sandcastle? Stay tuned for next weeks post to find out.
Do you need to get out of your own way? Is your BS stopping you from living a life of health and inner peace? Here are some questions to ask yourself.
What is your BS and how does it undermine your health/wellbeing? What negative effects does your BS have on your body or spirit?
What evidence do you have to support your BS?
What purpose does your BS serve you right now? How do you benefit from it?
What would happen if you changed this BS? What might you lose? What might you gain?
I know some of these things are kind of scary to think about, but I challenge you to do it. Next week I will share with you some helpful ways to start changing your destructive BS and ultimately get out of your own way.